Monday, November 10, 2008

Does It Really Take 13 Years To Break A Kid's Spirit?


Or why do we send our kids to school to be educated? 
 
I read an interview with a this funky, crazy writer in the NY Times last week and in it Charles McGrath, the reporter mentioned a bumper sticker on her husband's car "School takes 13 years because that's how long it takes to break a child's spirit."  The writer, Carolyn Chute and her husband live this "off the land" life in rural Maine so you wouldn't necessarily expect them to join in the realm of standard education, but the bumper sticker sums up my endless ambivalence about public education.  

Then, this morning, well, as these things do from time to time, the concern came home to roost.  My boy, while getting ready for school suddenly became very sullen and even a little teary.  When asked, he explained that his teacher told him he couldn't write about soccer anymore for his "Weekend News".  He's written about soccer every week since school began and she's decided he needs to branch out.  So, like a dutiful mother raised herself in the public school system, I suggested other things that happened over the weekend that he might write about:  when he met daddy's college roommate and his teenage daughters for lunch perhaps.  Or when his football rolled into a dirty puddle and the guy from the graffiti store came out with paper towel to clean it so he and dad continue to play while running errands.  His reply was there's no emotion in those things.  I tried to point out the emotions: happy, relieved, curious.  He wasn't having it which could be explained as stubborn.  or it could be that he is passionate about soccer and just loves to write about that and so why can't he?  Seems a fairly arbitrary suggestion on the part of the teacher - whom I love - so this is not a diatribe against her.  But if David Beckham was seven and we knew he'd grow up to be David Beckham wouldn't we let him write about soccer every week at school if he wanted to?  

Now, I'm not suggesting my kid is the next David Beckham but he does want to grow up to play for the Yankees - will the same rule apply when Little League season rolls around?  Or what about when Mitch Albom was a boy - was he allowed to write every week about sports - he grew up to make a successful career of it ultimately branching out into other topics when he was ready.  So, I'm just wondering why it is the teacher feels the need to eliminate a topic of writing for one boy instead of letting him write about it until it's no longer of interest for him.  

And as I struggle to provide explanations for my boy - well, sometimes we have to do what is asked of us even when we don't agree - then I wonder what he is really learning - to follow rules, tow the line however arbitrary it might be?  I want to raise kids who follow their passion and live according to what gets them most jazzed - not what pleases the most powerful person in the room.    

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