tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53111231174395488332024-02-07T10:33:22.515-05:00this mom rocks itwell, she's trying anywayjessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-49900181090565162302010-05-30T13:55:00.000-04:002010-06-24T13:56:03.316-04:00Year End Blues<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;">Originally posted on NYC Moms Blog - May 30, 2010</span></span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZI3mhb2_UbsT5JK_KxvWQyReMF6w7g256MYQTMv3crCO0udD-vMGV-1JQDiWfzjYDBgJ0f_4GgfEhK3InFiCYi6QzS5Ex4L01YA-tD0DheGKmoWM3TTN6vo_MubMhaCdtoB6Z7Tdsi9s/s1600/horizon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZI3mhb2_UbsT5JK_KxvWQyReMF6w7g256MYQTMv3crCO0udD-vMGV-1JQDiWfzjYDBgJ0f_4GgfEhK3InFiCYi6QzS5Ex4L01YA-tD0DheGKmoWM3TTN6vo_MubMhaCdtoB6Z7Tdsi9s/s320/horizon.jpg" width="220" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"> June is nearly here. The weather has gotten hot and the school calendar is FULL. Things are about to be busy, busy busy as they always are at this time of year. With kids in school June always feels slightly like a heady roll down a very steep hill to me. It seems like it will be great fun when you lie down at the top of the hill but as you pick up speed you begin to realize that you've lost any semblance of control and the hill is really running the show.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">This year our June is jammed with field trips and class plays, dance performances, publishing parties and potlucks as well as two half days off sandwiched between the mysterious "Chancellor's Day" a full day off in the middle of the week. To top it off my daughter is graduating from fifth grade and moving on to middle school. So that adds a ceremony and a party to the calendar. She also has designs on organizing a sleepover. Put it all together and I find myself caught somewhere between "When will summer be here?" (</span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 13pt;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2009/06/summer-please-rtpsending-photo.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">which is usually what I spend June thinking</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">) and "Wait! Wait! I'm not ready!!" <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">So while I'll be packing lunches for field trips and pulling costumes together for performances and signing up for potluck food, taking photos and shooting video of all these moments the whole thing will be laced with a certain bittersweet awareness that life is again moving forward as it does with children. They grow, they learn, they develop and change just as they should. It always seems to happen just slightly before I'm ready for it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">I am grateful in a way for being so busy. And I'm grateful, too, for all the wonderful years in our cozy little "hippie school". My younger one still has two more years there so it is not as if it is completely over. But I will miss having both my kids at the same school. I will miss being in and out of the classroom, helping at lunch, chaperoning field trips. Those times have already begun to fade into memory as my kids have shifted away gradually from me and more toward their peers. I'm already at school less often than in years past. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">So bring on the changes, I'll manage. I welcome all the new stuff that middle school will bring. But forgive me if I shed a few tears for those days gone by. And thank you brilliant teachers and administrators for keeping me so busy this spring that I'll just not have much time to shed those tears too heavily into my iced coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">This is an original post to NYC Moms Blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Jessica Ciosek is a writer living in Soho with her family. She'll be wearing sunglasses a lot this June.</span>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-25734230139796458522010-05-30T10:03:00.008-04:002010-06-24T14:13:47.663-04:00The Dog Run Is Like the Playground<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: Times;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Originally posted to NYC Moms Blog - May 30, 2010</span></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3DzoJmsVokKBEzvrhDenl784fbNoTY1Qa3Qhk_m6hVc0LDPSrqMSdHs-l9y41YLJlyyiH1LJUlwlcQLjnA2j498UZPGRFHYv8iF0lUsHX_3I1TtCM2R3MYA7WOmuzHcjg_HL0ZMeSMnA/s1600/ollie3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3DzoJmsVokKBEzvrhDenl784fbNoTY1Qa3Qhk_m6hVc0LDPSrqMSdHs-l9y41YLJlyyiH1LJUlwlcQLjnA2j498UZPGRFHYv8iF0lUsHX_3I1TtCM2R3MYA7WOmuzHcjg_HL0ZMeSMnA/s320/ollie3.jpg" width="237" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"><b></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> Okay, okay. I was warned. A dog is a lot of work. It is like having another kid, people said. Especially when you live in the city. And, admittedly, it has been a lot of work. But he is a sweet guy and I love having him. But no, it is not like when I had a dog as a kid. Then you could let the dog out the door and expect he'll show up again sometime later all exercised and hungry. Of course, I don't think anyone does that anymore, even in the suburbs, but at least there you have a yard. Here, if you want your puppy to get real off-the-leash exercise, you have to take him to the dog run. That was the part of puppy ownership I was not fully prepared for. It's like before you were pregnant and you'd walk right by the playground without a second glance. Then you got the baby itch and you'd look longing over the fence your eyes all wide, you might even have uttered "awww, look how cute." Then you had that baby and the next thing you knew the playground was your second home and you started to learn that not all of those babies or toddlers or preschoolers are as cute as they look from the other side of the fence. That's what the dog run is beginning to look like for me. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">When we first got the dog in October I thought maybe we would go to the run, maybe not. Then, as he grew it became apparent he was really going to need the dog run at some point. On advice from our vet we waited until he was older. Closer to seven months because the dog run can be a dirty place. When we first went it seemed ideal. There was some big dog rough-housing that I had to get used to but with support from the other owners I did. Mostly my worries were that my dog was somehow not being "doggish" enough. He is a hyper beast and, I thought, maybe annoying to the other dogs. Everyone assured me he was just a puppy, no worries, he was normal. It was a lot like the experienced mother in the playground who reassures you your kid will someday stop eating sand. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Eventually, we started making the dog run a regular part of the dog's day. In the last two weeks we have even worked out a routine. After I drop the kids off, workout, shower, eat breakfast, then Ollie and I head out to the run. And most days it is great. Often the same small group of older women are there who know each other and some of the dog walkers. There's another guy who's dog is really mellow. And there's usually a mix of other dogs and people including us.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Ollie plays really well (I cannot believe I am writing this like he's one of my kids or something) with the one of the older woman's dogs, a shaggy black and white guy, very sweet. He also likes a brown dog who comes with a dog walker. Otherwise he usually finds some dog with similar energy and does that whole dog playtime thing. If you've never seen dogs play it's kind of like little boys wrestling -- with teeth. They are playing hard, tackling each other, rolling on the ground but it's all good fun. What is disarming with dogs are those teeth, sharp and gleaming and kind of always right there in the middle of things. Similar to when little boys play karate or ninja or something. They are kicking and chopping and well it all looks like someone could get hurt any second. Yet they claim they are playing and no one is getting hurt. It's hard to know, being a girl who only wrestled occasionally when I was young, where that line really is. So you put your faith in the boys that they intuitively know where the line is and you hope to get some clue that maybe you should step in before someone gets hurt. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">It's the same with the dogs only none of us were dogs when we were young - at least one person in most families was once a boy. So it's hard to know, especially as a new owner where that line really is -- it all looks a little like it could turn in to blood shed at a moment's notice. And dogs, as </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 13pt;"><a href="http:/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Cesar Millan</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"> often reminds us, are pack animals so if something starts getting crazy between a couple of them the others seem to sense it and the next thing you know there's a group after one dog and we the humans can only try our best to break it all up. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">So far we've been lucky. Ollie has only had two incidents at the run where he was that dog who managed to get on the wrong side of the de facto pack leader. But all those times the owners of the other dogs stepped in along side me to break things up and restore our tenuous grasp on order. You know, like it takes a village to raise a kid, all the grown ups work together to help socialize kids on the playground. Same kind of thing, dog owners work together to make sure the beasts behave. But then there are those times you get the parent or the nanny who just doesn't want to deal with their "boisterous" child or maybe the adult is not the most well-behaved adult who ever entered a playground. So the whole playground crowd sort of begins to steer clear of that team. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Well, yesterday was like that in the dog run. We went a little later than usual - first mistake. My dog was a little extra hyper from our tardy arrival, then ornery dog showed up. He was on the prowl for someone to get after, growling and nosing around indiscriminately. Well, my dear dog is one of those friendly-to-a-fault kind of guys and he's a puppy. So who do you think got singled out? And before I knew it five dogs were chasing him and nipping at him. He was on the ground curled up. Honestly, I've seen this happen before at the dog run but usually the other dog owners generally step in and help break it up. Like in the playground when some kid is treating everyone badly. Not so much yesterday. No one even got up from the benches. And well, the mean dog's owner was certainly not making himself evident. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">It reminded me of the time when my daughter was two and some little kid was throwing sand at everyone. All the grownups kept telling him no. But there seemed to be no grownup with him. Ultimately it escalated to throwing toys and still no one was in charge of this boy. Finally, when the sand box cleared the boy ran off to find his grown up. She was clear across the park unable even to see the sand. That's what this dog owner was like - nowhere to be seen. Well, in the end it was too much for my dog, so I got him out, all the while batting with my bag at the dogs who were still after him. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Finally, as I was attaching his leash, the mean dog's owner reveals himself by praising his dog!! "Good girl, good girl," he's telling her as they are leaving. I could have boiled a kettle with how pissed I was. It's like that dad in the playground who winks at his kid, all proud papa like after he's just stolen three toys and injured a baby. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">The whole incident made we wonder why I ever decided a dog was a good idea. I was so grateful when I was finally done with playground politics - only to be thrown back in - in the canine world. And, dogs, of course, never really outgrow the playground! I must be crazy!!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">This is an original post for NYC Moms Blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Jessica Ciosek lives with her family and their dog in Soho. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 13pt;"><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/emailFlare?itemTitle=The%20Dog%20Run%20Is%20Like%20the%20Playground%20&uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nycmomsblog.com%2F2010%2F05%2Fthe-dog-run-is-like-the-playground-or-draft.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Email this</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"> • </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 13pt;"><a href="http://del.icio.us/post?v=4&partner=fb&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nycmomsblog.com%2F2010%2F05%2Fthe-dog-run-is-like-the-playground-or-draft.html&title=The%20Dog%20Run%20Is%20Like%20the%20Playground"><span style="color: #246595; 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font-family: Times;">kirtsy this</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.0pt; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 13pt;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5311123117439548833"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt; text-decoration: none;"><u style="text-underline: #246595;">ShareThis</u></span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"> Posted by Jess C on May 30, 2010 at 06:00 AM in </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/jessica/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Jessica</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"> | </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/05/the-dog-run-is-like-the-playground-or-draft.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Permalink</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.technorati.com/search/http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/05/the-dog-run-is-like-the-playground-or-draft.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Technorati Tags</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">: </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/dog%2Bownership"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">dog ownership</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/dogs"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">dogs</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Jess%2BC."><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Jess C.</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Jessica%2BCiosek"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Jessica Ciosek</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/NYC%2BMoms%2BBlog"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">NYC Moms Blog</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/playgrounds"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">playgrounds</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">dogs, dog ownership, dog runs, playgrounds, playground politics, Jessica Ciosek, Jess Ciosek, NYC Moms Blog<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"><b>Comments<o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: LucidaGrande; font-size: 13pt;"><b><a href="http://Geekymummy.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; font-weight: normal;">Geekymummy</span></a></b></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;"> said...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13pt;">Great post! For us the dog park came before the playground, and now the dog park outings are delegated to the dog walker. I miss the old days where dogs were allowed in the children playground, as I've learned that toddlers are a bit of a liability in the dig run.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 1pt;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5311123117439548833"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;">Reply</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/05/the-dog-run-is-like-the-playground-or-draft.html#comment-6a00d83451bae269e201348285dbfb970c"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; text-decoration: none;"><u style="text-underline: #246595;">May 30, 2010 at 10:53 AM</u></span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
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<div class="comments-content" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 19px;"><div id="tpc_thread"><div id="tpe-content"><div class="no-avatar" id="tpe-comments-content" style="margin-bottom: 15px;"></div></div></div></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-1070966587358206652010-04-28T14:14:00.000-04:002010-06-24T14:33:09.944-04:00Sometimes Parents Do Know Best<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>Originally posted to NYC Moms Blog - April 28, 2010<o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8HzubRWRi1c_oaF-Vzx82ZN0iBAa2LQ5yFXPjIJkmlZScqzcfpE3p_RZ5PrDW6UcXk6rxzjIJ4Cq-UGeEoymJu62LRJ9MKfgdGKCBZNCV2GRI0-DUf9DMby2WaVBgyesuQlU6r5RGz0/s1600/teacher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8HzubRWRi1c_oaF-Vzx82ZN0iBAa2LQ5yFXPjIJkmlZScqzcfpE3p_RZ5PrDW6UcXk6rxzjIJ4Cq-UGeEoymJu62LRJ9MKfgdGKCBZNCV2GRI0-DUf9DMby2WaVBgyesuQlU6r5RGz0/s320/teacher.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;"> Never in a million years did I think I'd find myself siding with </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://schools.nyc.gov/Offices/mediarelations/ChancellorsBiography/Chancellors+Bio.htm"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">NYC Schools Chancellor Joel Klein</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;">. For most of our overlapping tenure - mine as a parent, his as the "leader" of the NYC public schools I have whole-heartedly disagreed with him. His non-stance on class sizes astounds me, his celebration of standardized testing confounds me and his infatuation with charter schools dumbfounds me. Don't get me started on the simplest things </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/02/snow-day-but-wait-wheres-the-snow.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">like snow day</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;">s. But a recent </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/education/25seniority.html?hpw"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">NY Times article</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> has me agreeing, shockingly, with Mr. Klein.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">It seems layoffs of some 8,500 public school teachers are planned for this year (see what I mean about class size reduction? - maybe </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/business/companies/goldman_sachs_group_inc/index.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Goldman Sachs</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> could fund reduced class sizes - sorry - I digress). It seems Mr Klein has suggested eschewing the "last in, first out" method of deciding who gets laid off - meaning the most recent hires will be the first laid off, in favor of a performance based system of evaluation and lay off. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">Frankly I could not agree more! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></div><a name='more'></a>I'll take a wet-behind-the-ears 20-something or a midlife career changer just out of <span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.bankstreet.edu/www/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Bank Street</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> over some jaded, bored, ineffectual lifer any day. Which is not to say that all teachers who've devoted their entire lives to educating children are bored and ineffectual after 20 years - on the contrary - my daughter's teacher last year was a genius educator and a marvel at managing 4th and 5th graders without ever raising his voice. But age and the system took its toll on him. Now he's the math coach. So I get it that being a teacher is not easy - not at all. That said, a difficult job does not mean you get to be bad at it and still keep it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">There are some people who are just not cut out to be teachers and frankly, it is distressing to have to explain to your child the actions of such a teacher. Like, say, for example, an art teacher who blows up on the kids for some outrageous infraction like talking, and decides that she now cannot be bothered to allow them to finish a papier mache body project and instead sends it home half-finished - out of spite - at a class of nine and ten year olds! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">The arguments against keeping new teachers is that they take five years to reach their peak of effectiveness and class room management. And having had a brand new teacher for my daughter's first grade year I have seen that. But I stayed with her for two more years with my son - it was a bridging classroom - and while she started out as loving and tremendously passionate, that passion only increased along with her general classroom effectiveness as the years accumulated. Now, she's a marvel, while the aforementioned art teacher has only grown less and less interested in and more and more hostile toward the young minds she is supposed to guide every day. So I'd much rather have that young enthusiast running the classroom who may be doesn't yet have her organizational system down but has a true passion and shares that joy of learning with her kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">The challenge seems to be in finding an agreeable method for evaluating teacher performance. Mr. Klein suggests principals use a test scores, class room observation and input from other teachers. I applaud those ideas but have a much simpler method. ASK THE PARENTS!! We know because we care, arguably more than anyone, how our children are educated. We know who the ineffectual teachers are. We know who is phoning it in until retirement. We know who says the kind of rude off-hand remark to a child that they will be working out in therapy for years to come. And we know who has amazing passion, true joy and the right love of children that makes for an exceptional educator. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">And my idea is simple to execute, too. We all completed a school survey last week. How about a similar survey for ranking the teachers? Something like, "On a scale of one-to-ten how do you rank this teacher's overall performance?" Now, sure, you'll get some anomalies, vendettas, some parents who just don't jibe with certain teachers. But the number of families at any given public school is statistically significant and with a representative participation of those families you'll get to the truth of the matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">So, how about it, Mr. Klein? Let the parents provide the input about layoffs - or at least be included in the process. In the end teachers and how they perform matter the most to us - the parents of these young people we hope to foster into dynamic and joyful adults.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">This is an original post to NYC Moms Blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">Jessica Ciosek is a writer living and raising a family in Soho. She occasionally also blogs at thismomrocksit.blogspot.com <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/emailFlare?itemTitle=Sometimes%20Parents%20Do%20Know%20Best%20%20&uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nycmomsblog.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fsometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Email this</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> • </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://del.icio.us/post?v=4&partner=fb&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nycmomsblog.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fsometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html&title=Sometimes%20Parents%20Do%20Know%20Best"><span style="color: #246595; 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font-family: Times;">Share on Facebook</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> • </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/04/sometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html&title=Sometimes%20Parents%20Do%20Know%20Best"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Stumble It!</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> • </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.kirtsy.com/submit.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nycmomsblog.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fsometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">kirtsy this</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 17.0pt; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5311123117439548833"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; text-decoration: none; text-underline: #246595; text-underline: none;"><u style="text-underline: #246595;">ShareThis</u></span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"> Posted by Jess C on April 28, 2010 at 12:00 PM in </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/education/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Education</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/jessica/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Jessica</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"> | </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/04/sometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Permalink</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.technorati.com/search/http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/04/sometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Technorati Tags</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">: </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/education"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">education</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Jessica%2BCiosek"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Jessica Ciosek</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/nyc"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">nyc</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/nyc%2Bmoms%2Bblog"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">nyc moms blog</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/public%2Bschools"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">public schools</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/teacher%2Blayoffs"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">teacher layoffs</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">, </span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/teachers"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">teachers</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;">NYC Public schools, Joel Klein, layoffs, teachers, education<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: Times;"><b>Comments<o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #3570b6; font-family: LucidaGrande;"><b><a href="http://profile.typepad.com/beccasara"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; font-weight: normal; text-underline: #246595;">Becca Levey</span></a></b></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> said...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">I couldn't agree with you more. It makes me crazy when they say how do you know who's a good teacher? I always say, well look at the teachers that every parent wants every year. Parents know exactly who they covet for their kids and there's a reason. Now this is not a scientific method they can implement, but shouldn't a performance evaluation take into account this feedback? I don't think there should be first in first out, and I don't think there should be an assumption that 20 years on the job burns you out. My daughter has a teacher going on her 22nd year who is truly one of the best teachers she will ever have in her life. There is no doubt about that. But, I think if there were a path for teachers to gracefully exit a classroom, maybe as coaches in their specialties, or as mentors to younger teachers, even at a pay cut for reduced hours, that would be better for everyone. It might not lead to the immense budget savings they're looking for, but teacher lay offs are never the answer for budget problems anyway. Not with the system we have in place now. Plus, if we could effectively get rid of the truly bad teachers it wouldn't require so many lay offs to begin with.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5311123117439548833"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Reply</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/04/sometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html#comment-6a00d83451bae269e201348035e255970c"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; text-decoration: none; text-underline: #246595; text-underline: none;"><u style="text-underline: #246595;">April 28, 2010 at 12:10 PM</u></span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.mannahattamamma.com/"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Deborah Quinn</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> said...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">So funny - I've suggested that Goldman Sachs might solve the education crisis in NYC too, in part by paying for the school lunch program; </span><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://mannahattamamma.com/2010/02/maybe-ketchup-is-a-vegetable-and-other-thoughts-on-lunch/#more-330"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">http://mannahattamamma.com/2010/02/maybe-ketchup-is-a-vegetable-and-other-thoughts-on-lunch/#more-330</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> Or perhaps we could get David Tepper, that guy with the 4 billion dollar bonus to pay for teacher salaries? I think YES ask the parents is a great idea about teachers, but I think that more often than not, unfortunately, parents don't often see their kids' teachers very clearly. I ran the PTA for two years in our elementary school (about 500 families) and was consistently amazed by what parents had to say about teachers...to the point where I wondered if we were all talking about the same person! You're right, though, there does need to be a better way -- and yes, it is very weird to find oneself in agreement with Joel Klein (I like to think of Bloomberg and Klein as the lemur king and his sidekick, from Madagascar)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5311123117439548833"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Reply</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/04/sometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html#comment-6a00d83451bae269e20134803b8a1d970c"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; text-decoration: none; text-underline: #246595; text-underline: none;"><u style="text-underline: #246595;">April 28, 2010 at 06:35 PM</u></span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://profile.typepad.com/jesscio"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Jess C</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Times;"> said...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times;">The lemur king and his sidekick - hilarious image!!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5311123117439548833"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times;">Reply</span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: TrebuchetMS;"><a href="http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/04/sometimes-parents-do-know-best-education-nyc.html#comment-6a00d83451bae269e20133ed1244ba970b"><span style="color: #246595; font-family: Times; text-decoration: none; text-underline: #246595; text-underline: none;"><u style="text-underline: #246595;">April 29, 2010 at 07:31 PM</u></span></a></span><span style="color: #e5251d; font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-28535045205808735662010-03-05T13:05:00.008-05:002010-03-05T13:54:14.819-05:00The Art of Parenting<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgogFRlNgOMgodWGL36ffe9zGt8Hguxx-6xaWpn5-T572b0utZwij-mKJM7wB-iQsDadyFAuZ9idxXr4orn-o9vAeJHTsINelZPzQ17ZcdIeBK22eCLevNR85dKRsDxhfNs8on6-FaN20Q/s1600-h/hope+bk.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 155px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgogFRlNgOMgodWGL36ffe9zGt8Hguxx-6xaWpn5-T572b0utZwij-mKJM7wB-iQsDadyFAuZ9idxXr4orn-o9vAeJHTsINelZPzQ17ZcdIeBK22eCLevNR85dKRsDxhfNs8on6-FaN20Q/s200/hope+bk.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445223751787893858" /></a><br />I've always felt like parenting was much more of an art than a science. Despite all the "What to Expects" and T Berry Brazeltons, all the well-meaning grandparents, not-so-well-meaning playground moms, I've always felt that you had to trust your gut when it comes to raising the specific little individuals you are blessed with guiding through this world. After all who besides you knows that your kid will eat a ham sandwich with mustard only if it is on a baggette or that his hot dog must have the ketchup first and then the mustard. And, who but you knows that when your daughter has a meltdown over homework it is not a sign of her intelligence or lack there of but an indication that someone hurt her feeelings at school and if you just patiently help her solve the algebra problem then she'll open up about the friend and you can help her through that, too. <div><div><br /></div><div>At the end of the day, you're the mom or the dad and really, it's your call about your kids. You really do know best so trusting yourself is always the best move. I've always made the choice, when possible to chose doctors and dentists, other health care providers that honor the concept that in the end, mom knows best - they might have the medical knowledge and can give you options, but in the end parenting is a game of instinct. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's also why I think it's so crazy when we judge each other as moms, parents. How can we really know what is right for someone else's kid? Sure, we might know how we'd do it if we were confronted with the challenge but how another mom chooses to approach a challenge with her child well, that's just her call, not any one else's.<div><br /></div><div>That is what I found so refreshing about Hope Edelman's memoir "The Possibility of Everything". This was a mom confronted with a daunting challenge, a daughter whose behavior had changed drastically in a short time. Her radar went up and she knew she needed to get to the bottom of it. And the way she chose to do it, travel to Belize and visit a shaman, even in light of her own skepticism, is the greatest demonstration of "trusting your mom gut". She just knew on some level that the traditional Western medical approach to solving her daughter's challenge was not the best route. I applaud that instinct. Instead of worrying about what other people thought, she, along with her husband, made the decision they thought best for their daughter. And it worked! (full disclosure: I am myself a big believer in alternative therapies having benefited miraculously from them in my own life) But in the end, Hope's story is a refreshingly honest story of "the mom gut" and knowing what's right. </div><div><br /></div><div>I also applaud Hope's brutal honesty. As painful as it must have been, she shares her own frustrations with the situation in such stark, honest detail I felt I wanted to reach through the book and and give her a hug, thanking her for admitting to the mistakes we all make when parenting meets monumental frustration. I think it is this kind of honesty that makes for a truly connecting experience within a family, among friends, for readers and ultimately between us all.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> </div></div></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-18762842539456376542010-01-18T21:47:00.005-05:002010-01-18T22:03:25.583-05:00MLK's MondayWhen you boil about it, Martin Luther King, Jr. was about courage. The courage to stand up for what he believed in, the courage of his convictions that his approach was the approach that could turn the tide, the courage to know that he might not make it to the mountaintop but that that mountaintop could be reached. And he was right in all his courageous glory. We have an African-American president, have for a year now and we just call him Mr. President like every other white guy before him. Imagine the courage it took Barak Obama to declare he was worthy to be president and ride it on through to win.<div><br /></div><div>All amazing feats begin with and idea but are carried through by courage. And like the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz - we all have it in us - we just don't know it is there.</div><div><br /></div><div>With a nod to the courage in all of us - may it see us through any challenge, any strife, any doubt in the dark hours of the night. And, most especially, courage to those in Haiti and around the world whose lives truly call for the deepest strength to survive.</div><div><br /></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-41728013728371966192010-01-17T16:08:00.010-05:002010-01-18T08:40:27.211-05:00Sunday and Haiti<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR6_xFZFQJc-PNkLa-7uGqufvb2_a0rXnUmlSIM_ljDv0K9wOJ0p18o4wV1xs0rMciZ_Y-WkUd8PS01_azKf75cSLWmnlwLl2o1okyMmGu4XUnBtyb_Hqx9dUF28BzanYvNg3Nq1hCUoc/s1600-h/puddle.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 106px; height: 73px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR6_xFZFQJc-PNkLa-7uGqufvb2_a0rXnUmlSIM_ljDv0K9wOJ0p18o4wV1xs0rMciZ_Y-WkUd8PS01_azKf75cSLWmnlwLl2o1okyMmGu4XUnBtyb_Hqx9dUF28BzanYvNg3Nq1hCUoc/s200/puddle.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427934701275867282" /></a><br />I sat down this afternoon with the idea of posting about the Sunday blues I inevitably get every unplanned Sunday afternoon. I opened my browser, the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/">NY Times</a> home page came up and I was humbled out of my comfortable ennui by a photo of a man, his head buried in his arms praying inside a cracked but still standing church in Port-au-Prince. And I realized how fortunate I am to be able to feel something like the Sunday blues. How lucky to live in such comfort here in the US that I can feel down just for having a dull day on my hands. I sit here with laundry to do, my house just cleaned, a work project I am avoiding and well, just a rainy Sunday afternoon in the city. I don't really have anything I want to do but go for a run, I don't have anything that has to be done today and that seems like something to feel down about. While this poor man has suffered untold loss his family? his home? his entire life as he knew it?<div><br /></div><div>I scroll through the rest of the photos and see people praying, they're hands raised to the sky pain on their faces. I am not a religious person but I pray sometimes, meditate, think a lot about the bigger picture and my role in it. If I were struck with such a tragedy I'd like to know I'd have the conviction to reach to heaven for some salvation. Another photo is of a young boy waiting, his eyes anxious for bags of water for his family. What if I had to send my son to "wait for bags of water" instead of just turning on the tap and letting it run over our hands, into our Brita for not only a fresh drink but filtered of all impurities, too. The next photo shows a young boy his hands raised to the sky not in prayer but as he and a man are confronted by police in the wake of looters. Later a body burns on the streets, a looter killed by a mob. Oh my word, it is a cushy life we live, I should be more grateful.</div><div><br /></div><div>Still it does not stymie my discontent, I am horrified by the loss, the pain and I feel more down, more useless, more pointless than ever. I should volunteer, should help somehow make it better. We sent money, the kids' school is planning a dance-a-thon next week. Still . . . </div><div><br /></div><div>Once I read something about how when people lose it all it makes life so much simpler. It becomes about survival and that in itself is simple. I could see that, I don't wish it for myself, my family or anyone else for that matter, but I get it. Watched a movie last night,<a href="http://thehurtlocker-movie.com/"> "The Hurt Locker"</a> and it points that up - a great movie - really intense - beautifully shot by a woman director - about an army bomb squad in Iraq. As the movie progresses a "cowboy" kind of guy joins the squad and we watch how he tempts fate unconcerned with the danger he faces. Then, <spoiler> he ends his tour and goes home and finds the array of cereal boxes in his local grocery store overwhelmingly mundane. He re-enlists because at least in harm's way what he is doing makes sense.</spoiler></div><div><br /></div><div>Life doesn't make sense a lot of the time: tragedy, depression, war, loss. And in those times I guess the only logical response is to reach for love. Maybe it is the only thing that does make sense. So tonight I held me kids a little tighter and worked a little harder to make dinner tasty - because that is some form of survival, too, right?</div><div><br /></div><div>With thoughts, prayers, peace and strength and most of all love to all those affected by the Haitian earthquake. </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-48072842279368524662009-10-14T21:14:00.006-04:002009-10-15T00:43:23.131-04:00Who Put the "HE" in Laundry?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkWrLAT4LArGvB4_bG2WYGb2NK_sQ-nCzjVjn6PoE6fiT5S72HdGW4ND9S0BYfZRVPooUJWuq1jOko-QIKfNsPzG_XmA3oQgP_W-zt4RnAvMUI36oqFcAu25gPvN7MUgmNuaHt9OuVrus/s1600-h/3988398285_c9e5352c47.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkWrLAT4LArGvB4_bG2WYGb2NK_sQ-nCzjVjn6PoE6fiT5S72HdGW4ND9S0BYfZRVPooUJWuq1jOko-QIKfNsPzG_XmA3oQgP_W-zt4RnAvMUI36oqFcAu25gPvN7MUgmNuaHt9OuVrus/s200/3988398285_c9e5352c47.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392649190026416002" border="0" /></a><br />Last week I was invited to an event <a href="http://laundryhe.com/bubbles-bubbly-recap/">"Bubbles & Bubbly"</a> hosted by WiskHE laundry detergent. It was a fun and really informative event not only about high efficiency (HE) laundry detergent and why it is so important to use it in a high efficiency (HE) machine (I do not have said machine - but you can enter to win one <a href="http://laundryhe.com/contest/">here</a>). But we also got to don the lab coats and the <a href="http://www.gloveablesinc.com/gloves/red_gloves.htm">cutest rubber gloves</a> and pretend to be scientists; we learned about the importance of bubbles in champagne - (what a chore to have to taste really amazing champagne for 20 minutes) - and then we listened in on the amazing bubble reader as she predicted fortunes for a few lucky women in the crowd.<br /><br />But by far, the funniest moment of the night was when a fellow (male) blogger suggested that the whole idea of adding "HE" to detergent was to get men to do the laundry. Ha! In this house, that will be the day! Of course, I'm not too interested in taking out the garbage either - so I guess we are even. Now I have to get back to folding my oft-neglected clean towels.<br /><br />PS - the WiskHE detergent really does work just as well as regular detergent - even in my low-efficiency, but perfectly acceptable, machine!jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-67070697023964240002009-09-21T22:13:00.004-04:002009-09-21T22:22:46.136-04:00"Highlights of A Mom's Life"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh15rvykZUl1MwDcB3dHGKMP-eRFFSyVmtLqZ8hGv-KG6islfJJtt224SD5k1_K3vddZJUp2-FD9QrbJLEZZ26D6C8y2VbIhXiyfggA8EHttYDowsoIe74Se591yHWlxY7CZ-ukEGy8Azg/s1600-h/cast+photo.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 169px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh15rvykZUl1MwDcB3dHGKMP-eRFFSyVmtLqZ8hGv-KG6islfJJtt224SD5k1_K3vddZJUp2-FD9QrbJLEZZ26D6C8y2VbIhXiyfggA8EHttYDowsoIe74Se591yHWlxY7CZ-ukEGy8Azg/s200/cast+photo.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384111471612058978" /></a><br />A new web series we created for the Kellogg snack brands - and it is funny!! If I do say so myself. Check it out: <a href="http://www.snackpicks.com/hoaml/aspx">Highlights of a Mom's Life</a> . And it was a family affair for us this summer - I wrote it, dear hub directed and produced and the kids had featured roles. Yes, those adorable kids are ours! Aren't they cute and talented, too. It was soo much fun - hope you think so, too!jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-23477665699695868862009-05-28T12:43:00.004-04:002009-05-28T13:35:15.460-04:00Thankful Thursday<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcd2Tx84W9mL5R7FadRKrAZiQzI0hKgT9Zx8n10k6epDf8JklUqvNCdUoP6_6aVBfvyODvFrY5-TuXjMBqO2cofNhW3QEmD2837wjgDT3lar61uckQ13D8MGT7XYD5C4NZmK6W-CX0PRk/s1600-h/healthy+jump.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 181px; height: 112px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcd2Tx84W9mL5R7FadRKrAZiQzI0hKgT9Zx8n10k6epDf8JklUqvNCdUoP6_6aVBfvyODvFrY5-TuXjMBqO2cofNhW3QEmD2837wjgDT3lar61uckQ13D8MGT7XYD5C4NZmK6W-CX0PRk/s200/healthy+jump.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340929606124512722" /></a><br />Today, I am grateful for the resiliency of my body. No matter how I eat, how much exercise I avoid, or how great my sleep debt grows, my body still works, functions like a well-oiled machine and even manages to bounce back when I do get to the gym and clean up my diet. I've lost nine pounds in three weeks just from regular exercise and eating my fruits and veggies. And, I'm pushing the mid-forty mark. Thanks to my bod for keeping me going! (Ah - no the photo - not me - but maybe . . . )jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-89144112947402963312009-05-27T08:51:00.005-04:002009-05-27T12:38:21.685-04:00When Life Gives You Lemons . . .<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc8J5bWj1bbGXtvD1RphNWLqLZKx41u_pDUCZouW5_8ZqLhxz5zcwL_YYzrMhJKhFFic1lJCNRD4qHVe3x_iMg8uZ3DSOacBRjwsTyAJLc6XAmQpgwIKuPIkQkNbUd9bCOsqDvdKF25Cg/s1600-h/comfort+food.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 123px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc8J5bWj1bbGXtvD1RphNWLqLZKx41u_pDUCZouW5_8ZqLhxz5zcwL_YYzrMhJKhFFic1lJCNRD4qHVe3x_iMg8uZ3DSOacBRjwsTyAJLc6XAmQpgwIKuPIkQkNbUd9bCOsqDvdKF25Cg/s200/comfort+food.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340493711763263954" /></a><br />Life, it's one of those things, you know, best laid plans and all that. You make your plans when you are young choose a college, a major, meet a future spouse. On it goes. Mostly according to plan. You travel, move to the city of your dreams, have babies. It's working out great. There are some bumps. A family member takes sick and passes on despite the prayers, despite the love. Another takes his own life, inexplicably. You weather the storm, the questions never really answered but fond memories remain. <div><br /></div><div>Then one day a bump comes into your own life, a shift you hadn't anticipated, a change you are not welcoming. And the roller coaster begins, all you can do is decide to hold tight, make sure your lap belt is snug and try to find the emergency brake. Of course, the emergency brake is in the station and you are still careening around the track. You call for help, help arrives but still you must make new choices, set a new course while racing along in and out of tunnels, over hills and through breath-taking curves. </div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, one day, your new choices made the roller coaster slows to a more manageable speed. You are changed, different, never really to be the same again but this new self is humming along okay on this new track. The new track turns out to be better than you could have guessed, closer to the person you really want to be now, twenty-five years after that young girl chose that now inexplicable major. Life is better, now, for the topsy-turvy ride. Who knew?</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.katejacobs.com/">"Comfort Food" by Kate Jacobs</a> is the story of just such a crazy ride in the lives of characters living what they think is their dream. Things change, people change and while it is happening the characters cannot see the good that may come from the changes. Still, good things come and life is richer for them. As Oliver says late in the book, "Life isn't a straightforward climb up the ladder." . . . "It can take a few slips to really gain perspective."</div><div><br /></div><div>My life has been like that in the recent past. My husband's business hit a rough patch, my mother-in-law passed unexpectedly all while I grappled with trying to find a meaningful life now that my kids were in school. But in the last eight months things have come together for me in ways I could never have anticipated. I'm a partner now in my husband's business. I'm writing scripts and shooting pilots, I'm helping develop websites and diligently working on my own novel. Only the novel has been a twenty-year dream. All the rest is the bonus of life and it's lemons. Who knew? </div><div><br /></div><div>Many thanks to the <a href="http://svmomblog.typepad.com/nyc_moms/">SVMoms group</a> for such a comforting book club choice. </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-55920318486925047652009-01-20T19:14:00.004-05:002009-01-20T21:15:56.052-05:00Liberty Science Center or what we learned last Saturday<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCdkn9rtbl8WaTF38OkqdWbBQcMG8UIuDxxoP37kmCPm4qUDOtFzx4Nd0zGCtPiqc6kGnBUkXEbdL-x7aO1RyRlEfskx6rGSbnW8Vuwgg9H7Xi-xpR04uKgJ1KX_zNHfpRThyphenhyphenEDuCuEeQ/s1600-h/graffiti.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 95px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCdkn9rtbl8WaTF38OkqdWbBQcMG8UIuDxxoP37kmCPm4qUDOtFzx4Nd0zGCtPiqc6kGnBUkXEbdL-x7aO1RyRlEfskx6rGSbnW8Vuwgg9H7Xi-xpR04uKgJ1KX_zNHfpRThyphenhyphenEDuCuEeQ/s200/graffiti.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293565011088231938" /></a><br />So many great things happen when you are a mom blogger. Because of my fortunate and fun association with the NYC Moms Blog my family and I were invited to visit the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City, New Jersey this past Saturday. Located on the sparkling edge of the Liberty State Park we were first treated to a spectacular view of Manhattan - all because of a wrong turn by the driver (moi) - but I digress. <div><br /></div><div>Inside the newly refurbished museum - after a bizarrely thorough security check - we were invited to watch Sesame Street movie introducing kids to the moon and stars. The show was a little young for my crew but it gave me a chance to reminisce about the toddler days while still walking out with my capable tweens. Then we sat in for a demonstration of the amazing and remarkable qualities of liquid nitrogen. Even Grandma - who isn't impressed by much anymore thought Katie and her show were noteworthy. My fave: The balloons added to a box filled with liquid nitrogen that flattened into pancakes with puddles of liquid air in the bottom. The balloons then fully expanded back into their round, plump selves when out in the air for a minute or two. Fascinating!</div><div><br /></div><div>We were also lucky enough to learn about a tarantula, touch a snake - I made myself do it even tho' I truly have a snake phobia. Then we watched an Australian Marine frog attempt an unwily escape - walking off the table at one point. </div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, we took in one floor of the museum where the kids rode a gyroscope, "spray-painted" graffiti and we all created "communication bubbles" on a computer screen. We were bushed after that so decided to head home. (Yes, we got lost again! And this time the views were considerably less spectacular.) Only later did I learn of all the amazing other exhibits - the skyscraper, the bubble creator that we'll have to go back for another time. All in all, it was a great day and really gave me a look at a place I always meant to go but never got around to. And, hey we all learned a little, too. </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-83245670036527808352009-01-03T19:03:00.003-05:002009-01-03T19:17:20.754-05:00When This All Began . . .I started this blog with a grand concept - talk to other women - moms who were managing to raise effective, smart, funny, loving children while having a life of their own - working at something they were passionate about that helped them feel fulfilled and satisfied in some way. <div>I have lost that thread - it started to feel like I was exploiting other people's lives for blog fodder when really what I was searching for was a way to get a handle on creating a life like that for myself. Having spent the last nine years devoting myself to "the kids" and the years before that just waiting to have "the kids" - embarrassing to admit now but I was waiting for my kids - I am aching to find that new life - that satisfying career - I just don't know how to fit into it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps the name of this blog is my wishful thinking then - I'm aiming to be a mom who rocks it. But right now I'm trying to figure out how to dress my un-worked-out body in something that says serious creative person for meetings and presentations in a week and a half when all I can manage to find to fit me are black skirts that look too wide and black tops that feel too tight and I have been in a conference room twice in the last fifteen years. HELP!</div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-6972996531165377232008-12-10T11:47:00.009-05:002009-05-27T08:50:55.528-04:00Sometimes Mom Needs A Little LoveI was invited to a <a href="http://www.nintendo.com/wiifit/launch/?ref=">Nintendo Wii Fit</a> event last week at the fab <a href="http://www.blissworld.com/">Bliss Spa</a> in the <a href="http:/http://www.starwoodhotels.com/whotels/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=97502">W Hotel</a> on Lexington. It was billed as a "mom playdate" - a chance for mom to be taken care of in her busy days leading up to the holidays. I went because I said I would - but couldn't help thinking I really didn't need downtime, instead, maybe I'd suggest to my dear Nintendo contact that the next event include children. <div><br /></div><div>Then I got there. They took charge of my next two hours in the most comforting, soothing and well, even inspiring way and I realized that maybe these lovely people who put together events for mom bloggers really are doing it because they know we need a little something to reenergize us. <div><br /></div><div>First, they did my nails - which "oh my gawd!" did I need. Next, an arm massage - that was lovely but I kept aching for her to work over my shoulders, too. Then I was treated to personal trainer instruction on the Wii Fit by - as you can imagine - an enthusiastic, informed and super-encouraging personal trainer, <a href="http://www.arynunez.com/">Ary Nunez</a>. I learned everything there was to know about the Wii Fit - gratefully Ary allowed my to by-pass the <a href="http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/">BMI</a> measure in her presence - and I felt inspired to really work on getting back in shape in my own home. Unfortunately, the auxiliary input connection on my TV is on the fritz - thus my workout program has yet to begin - really! - but I am feeling like the Wii Fit could help me get in shape while having fun with my kids and not really thinking about working out - kind of like when we were kids and managed to exercise and call it fun! </div></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-59250316033444720772008-11-10T09:34:00.007-05:002008-12-10T12:34:49.200-05:00Does It Really Take 13 Years To Break A Kid's Spirit?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_CLShQE1SJfo8mVGqY1ejtPbr7VvDy_btKR3M0yyKSS_8V5zN4WHlf3po8qnF1RtsYXsdukKW_m32Dnnyd3VTc44VWDCYPvLpjI1vw1pMUBm6xHsyKGgk9Tqb5IvDNdhEVUW_mSUEoA/s1600-h/soccer.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_CLShQE1SJfo8mVGqY1ejtPbr7VvDy_btKR3M0yyKSS_8V5zN4WHlf3po8qnF1RtsYXsdukKW_m32Dnnyd3VTc44VWDCYPvLpjI1vw1pMUBm6xHsyKGgk9Tqb5IvDNdhEVUW_mSUEoA/s200/soccer.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278216218449364178" /></a><br />Or why do we send our kids to school to be educated? <div> <div>I read an <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/04/books/04chut.html?_r=1&ref=books&oref=slogin">interview</a> with a this funky, crazy writer in the NY Times last week and in it Charles McGrath, the reporter mentioned a bumper sticker on her husband's car "School takes 13 years because that's how long it takes to break a child's spirit." The writer, Carolyn Chute and her husband live this "off the land" life in rural Maine so you wouldn't necessarily expect them to join in the realm of standard education, but the bumper sticker sums up my endless ambivalence about public education. </div><div><br /></div><div>Then, this morning, well, as these things do from time to time, the concern came home to roost. My boy, while getting ready for school suddenly became very sullen and even a little teary. When asked, he explained that his teacher told him he couldn't write about soccer anymore for his "Weekend News". He's written about soccer every week since school began and she's decided he needs to branch out. So, like a dutiful mother raised herself in the public school system, I suggested other things that happened over the weekend that he might write about: when he met daddy's college roommate and his teenage daughters for lunch perhaps. Or when his football rolled into a dirty puddle and the guy from the graffiti store came out with paper towel to clean it so he and dad continue to play while running errands. His reply was there's no emotion in those things. I tried to point out the emotions: happy, relieved, curious. He wasn't having it which could be explained as stubborn. or it could be that he is passionate about soccer and just loves to write about that and so why can't he? Seems a fairly arbitrary suggestion on the part of the teacher - whom I love - so this is not a diatribe against her. But if David Beckham was seven and we knew he'd grow up to be David Beckham wouldn't we let him write about soccer every week at school if he wanted to? <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I'm not suggesting my kid is the next David Beckham but he does want to grow up to play for the Yankees - will the same rule apply when Little League season rolls around? Or what about when Mitch Albom was a boy - was he allowed to write every week about sports - he grew up to make a successful career of it ultimately branching out into other topics when he was ready. So, I'm just wondering why it is the teacher feels the need to eliminate a topic of writing for one boy instead of letting him write about it until it's no longer of interest for him. </div><div><br /></div><div>And as I struggle to provide explanations for my boy - well, sometimes we have to do what is asked of us even when we don't agree - then I wonder what he is really learning - to follow rules, tow the line however arbitrary it might be? I want to raise kids who follow their passion and live according to what gets them most jazzed - not what pleases the most powerful person in the room. </div></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-23638199837968369262008-10-02T10:40:00.005-04:002008-10-02T12:18:17.943-04:00Thankful Thursday<div>Recently a friend shared with me the idea of writing down five things you were happy about every day before going to bed. It is supposed to increase your general happiness everyday. I've made it a habit that I'm extending here.</div><div><br /></div><div>Five Great Things</div><div>1) Two healthy kids - maybe that is two things?</div><div>2) A husband who still makes me laugh after 19 years</div><div>3) A school I feel great about sending my kids to</div><div>4) Coffee - when I stay up to late and have to get up too early</div><div>5) New York City - where I can walk anywhere and see the most amazing, freaky, cool things daily.</div><div><br /></div><div>Wishing you five (or more) great things today. </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-77236798857291699682008-10-01T20:59:00.004-04:002008-10-02T12:20:30.433-04:00They Need Me More Than EverOne thing I am learning as my children age is how much more they need me then I ever realized about kids of nine and seven. It's funny because you sort of think once they can feed themselves, fall asleep on their own, wipe their butts and tie their shoes well, then parenting is just about getting them to school on time and making sure they don't watch too much TV. But it is so much more now, so much more complex, so much more intense. They want to know things now and not just details like why the sky is blue. They want to know what to do when a friend says something mean or a teacher won't let them go to the bathroom. They want to know why countries go to war and why someone would kill Martin Luther King. <div><br /></div><div>And, sometimes they want to know things you think they already do. We were playing Yahtzee last night - a game we've played before - and I was suggesting my son take his score in his ones row. He looked at me in dire frustration and said, "I don't know how to talk Yahtzee!" And I realized for all he does know, all his ability to decipher the Wii way better than me, to play the DS with a sure and steady hand, that there are still things he doesn't know and it is still my job to guide him.</div><div><br /></div><div>And it made me feel a glad to know he still needs me.</div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-90808903421409994312008-08-25T14:44:00.005-04:002008-08-25T23:59:39.937-04:00Her Hand Is Bigger NowNo longer plump with the extra pudge of toddlerhood when tiny fingers and cushy palms slipped - sweaty and small into my thin, bony mitts. Thick around the knuckles but delicate in the digit, I took photos of her hand in mine in those early years with the idea to record its growth with this comparison shot every year. Along the way somewhere I forgot my vow.<div><br /></div><div>Now, today, she seems so grown, her thoughts rife with complexity, she astounds me. I notice her hands as she fashions a shadow puppet on the wall. Thinner, much thinner than those toddler hands, longer, more dextrous, still they are a child's hands with extra flesh and the stubby blunt fingernails easier for climbing. They meet in small ways as she constructs ephemeral art with them. Bracelets of colored elastic adorn her wrists still her fingers are too small for proper rings. Her nails she keeps short and only occasionally polished. <div><br /></div><div>I am grateful to know in all her maturity, in all her distance from that cherub I attachment parented with momma gorilla-like ferocity, she is still a girl, my child, an angel of heart-rending proximity for at least a few more years. </div></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-68218937921904510682008-08-22T18:52:00.003-04:002008-08-25T14:43:53.244-04:00Too Much Screen TimeEvery parenting manual, pediatrician, psychologist, school teacher recommends limiting screen time for kids - but what about their parents? I spent my day on the computer - working, writing, researching and when I was done I was sick to my stomach and more than a little depressed at having been so disconnected from humanity while connected through a machine with some virtually existing world. OMG - get me back in the playground!! jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-57945850954469071892008-08-21T23:21:00.003-04:002008-08-21T23:38:09.180-04:00Back-to-School??Back-to-school is just around the corner. As an NYC public school family we are back to the grind the day after Labor Day - just 12 days away. I'm not ready. I still have all those plans I made for this amazing summer with my kids - going to the beach, visiting the museum once a week in some great scheme I had to create a science curriculum with the summer and they are still not done. They all just sort of fell by the wayside between my new found work obligations and those lazy, hazy days of summer at the pool. But still I wish I'd done something - I wish I'd really accomplished one amazing summer activity with my kids. We played games, we read books, they built things and drew things and made up games but still somehow something seems a little "not done" as we are about to get back to the reality of school days.<div><br /></div><div>Is it just that summer is so short now that my ennui had not really begun to set in and then it's over? When I was a kid summer was a solid two weeks longer than it is for my kids. Or am I just a poor planner? Never really getting ahead of the game enough to make a real plan for the summer - yeah - that's probably more like it. And what will my kids remember of this summer - will they say that was the most boring summer ever??!! Or will they remember it like I'm going to chose to - as the summer we as a family really spent some time together - in the playground, out on the fire escape, playing the Wii and just hanging out. Because while I regret that the summer is coming to an end and we don't have any grand anything to show for it, it's been the little things that have made this summer special. Like when my sweet pook discovered all my old earrings and started wearing them around like she had precious jewels in her ears. Or when my dear boy beat my husband in a remote control car race and gloated a little but did not cry when later he lost in Wii baseball. </div><div><br /></div><div>So yeah, we don't have any grand vacation photos and my kids haven't learned the Latin name for horse but still we've got the little moments and sometimes those are the best. </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-43645228157302063162008-07-23T23:55:00.003-04:002008-07-24T00:12:58.869-04:00The nothing summerWe are doing nothing this summer. The kids are not going to camp, we are not taking a vacation - well, if you count one overnight with a friend next weekend - then yes a small vacation. But mostly - nothing. And , you know, I'm fine with that. It is how I remember summer as a kid. Hanging out at home, playing with the neighbor kids, finally getting a chance to stay up late on a weeknight. I'm doing the same for my kids. Except no one is around! No big kids in the playground they are all at day camp or sleep away. Friends - theirs and mine - are all away on vacation. <div><br /></div><div>How are they supposed to tell the difference between school and summer vacation if we don't give the kids a chance to hang around and get bored, fight with each other, stay up late, sleep in late and generally be lazy, imaginative toads for nine weeks?! </div><div><br /></div><div>Every summer I say I'll sign the kids up for a couple of weeks of camp here and there and at least my older one says she wants to go. Then the slow, lazy, unscheduled days of summer arrive and I'm glad to not have to make lunches and hustle the kids off somewhere for the day. I'm glad to just hang out with them, let them hang out with each other and generally tell the whole structured world we'll get back to them in the fall. <div><br /></div><div>This summer I'm working a good amount - but I can work at home. My husband, too, is busy but he works both in and out of the house. We've set up a space in the bedroom for our work and the kids are old enough to create projects and games for themselves while we work. So far this summer they've built forts, constructed homemade race tracks, made spaceships from chairs and pillows, baked brownies, made instant pudding and homemade lemonade and finally bonded with our often cranky cat. </div><div><br /></div><div>Sure, I'm fortunate to stay home - of course that could explain why we aren't going on vacation but it's a trade-off. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish more people did the hang out summer - then we could all be rockin' the summer together. </div></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-81709962466662794962008-07-13T22:49:00.003-04:002008-07-13T22:56:44.067-04:00Synchronicity rocksResearching an article about synchronicity and seeing all the coincidences in my life that point to signs I am moving in the right direction. Synchronicity is not the Police album - it is instead the idea of coincidence - running into someone you just thought about or having a dream about something that then happens. It is a concept first advanced by Carl Jung - who is the king of the collective unconscious which is the basis for all the Law of Attraction stuff. It's super cool amazing stuff. Totally just wanted - after my last bummed out post - to be flowing the positivity of synchronicity and all the goodness of the universe. This rambles - but it is a happy ramble. Consider the joy!<div>Tomorrow is the birthday - first time I haven't paid too much attention to it. It's only taken me 44 years. </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-5362532570541489182008-07-11T18:52:00.004-04:002008-10-01T22:30:08.289-04:00Rockin' very anxiously here<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Still trying very hard to rock it here - but it's been two months since I happened on this brilliant idea and well - no posts. Today I rectify that. I guess, what I can do now is document in some blog fashion my struggles to be a rockin' mom. It's just life is a boatload of stress these days.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">But I'm working on it - I'm writing regularly - recently found a paying freelance gig - that is helping. I am working diligently on other writing projects. I am (mostly) thinking positively while enjoying my kids for the summer. Just now I am sun burned (shame) and tired, and sweet pook, my daughter is not feeling well. I am alternately looking forward to the weekend and panicked because business doesn't happen on the weekend. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">My rockin' mom feature today is a friend who said -"Don't worry. Whatever happens to you good or bad, it will happen. Whether you worry or not." I'm choosing to hold tight to that sentiment just now. </span> </div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311123117439548833.post-35754569225899486492008-05-08T22:01:00.000-04:002008-05-08T22:52:12.447-04:00Welcome to This Mom Rocks It<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';">It's a bold name I've chosen for this blog and I have been schooled, like all good girls, to behave more demurely. But as someone smart and famous once said (I paraphrase) - 'Nothing amazing has ever been accomplished by following the rules.'</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';">What I'm hoping to set in motion with the sheer bravado of my blog title is a life lived "rockin' it" and to inspire others to do the same. Because (let me again grab my dictionary of quotations): </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I CAME TO LIVE OUT LOUD." - Emile Zola. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';">I think we all did. But I get down, I worry, I feel insecure, and it is those times I look to the mothers around me for inspiration. If someone has done it, is doing it, whatever "it" is, then my dreams seem all the more possible to me. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';">So my intention with this blog is twofold: first to inspire by celebrating moms who rock and second to inform and entertain by exploring amazing - or mundane but fun - things to do to keep rockin' this life with kids! (Okay, enough with the rockin' reference snarks my inner critic.) </span></div>jessciohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02137601245616658043noreply@blogger.com0